6.6.08

A day that has changed me forever.

The day I realize how cruel and unfair life can be.

The day I don't want to remember, but can never forget.

I took this day for granted, just like any other day, but this was far from any other day. The day my heart dropped down below my gut. And now I am empty inside. There's nothing left, none at all. No feeling, No anger, No sadness. Just blank. Trying to stay strong for those who love me and those I love, but I'm loosing my grip. My grip on life, on faith, on hope. I hear over and over like a bad record in my head, Why? Why did this happen? Why him? just why. I don't understand this plan. It's disturbingly unfair. The pain is all too much to comprehend. Just trying to let it go, to let go and let God. It's all too hard, all too soon. Just a moment of fun in a flash was all ruined. How could he let this happen? Why is this pain...this suffering his will? is it his will? Who could possibly deserve this? Nobody. Not a single soul should have this. And I ask again with no reply, Just Why?

I wish I could go back.

I wish the fields were full.

I wish it will be okay.

I wish I weren't so weak.

...and I hope I can keep it together...

-Pray